Whatever your circumstance it is my hope that my story provides a sense of comfort and relief in knowing that there is nothing in this life that we cannot transform. All we need is the desire and the commitment to do so. It is our birthright to live a beautiful life and even if our childhood did not reflect that back to us in any way, let alone a healthy way, it is not too late to claim it for ourselves, right here, right now.
About twenty five years ago I moved from B.C. to Alberta. B.C. held memories of very traumatic and painful child abuse in every area – physical, emotional, mental and financial. I thought that by simply moving to Calgary I be would leaving the past behind me. This was my first major illusion.
Lesson: You can only effectively let go of your past by forgiving all of the parties involved, including yourself. In order to do that you must be able to see and identify exactly what needs to be forgiven. The sooner we can do this the sooner we make room for miracles and healing. Ultimately for me this required psychotherapy, trauma healing and spiritual transformation and this did not happen until 17 years after the fact.
I recently did a journey at a business seminar that helped to see that from the beginning of my time in Alberta my support system included only the men I dated, the relationships I got involved in and the men I married.
Family support as a child was not an option and I was never allowed the privilege of forming close friendships as I grew up. I had friends from school but I never had the opportunity or the wherewithal to form healthy and lasting friendships.
I loved school – I got good grades and it got me out of the house.
My step-mother physically beat in to me that I was stupid, ugly, fat, worthless – and more. I believed her. And even with good grades, I believed that I was indeed stupid. I also believed that I was really bad and somehow was to blame for all of the abuse. This is a very natural response for any child.
Lesson: It is never the child’s fault. It is never anyone’s fault, even adults, when it comes to abuse. It is simply unacceptable behaviour, period. I learned this the hard way, one marriage at a time.
By marrying men that reflected back to me who and what I was not, I was able to figure out who I was. This was my journey and while I don’t wish for anyone to have to travel this same path I do know that it is a more common path than we realize.
Lesson: It takes a tremendous amount of strength and personal power to leave an abusive marriage, even if it means that you will be divorced, AGAIN! By completely accepting this, you free yourself to learn finally that any form of abusive is no longer tolerable in any way shape or form in your life. Herein lays the secret to magically creating your beautiful life. You finally get it that you’re worth having, being, and experiencing your best life, and it’s never too late to start.